


Things I'll Never Say

by BlueMoon333



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 12:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2547044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoon333/pseuds/BlueMoon333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's his best friend's wedding day, but that idiot seems to be fidgeting outside his front door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things I'll Never Say

Changmin rushes into his apartment, taking off his shoes and neatly placing them on the rack. He sets his bag to the side and walks hastily into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Once he's done, he pads barefoot into his bedroom, where he had flat-ironed and left a navy silk shirt and a pair of fitted dark grey dress pants spread out over his bed this morning.

 

He doesn't have much time. He quickly dries himself off and begins to dress. Today is a big day.

 

His best friend is getting married.

 

It's a bit hard to believe. Even though he found out months ago, he still seems to have some difficulty digesting that bit of information. He should've known, of course. The lovely couple _had_ been dating for a good four years now. But as the date for the wedding grew closer, Changmin felt a distance forming between them, getting larger and larger as each day passed.

 

It just never truly felt like Yunho was in a relationship. Or rather, he had never let it come in between their friendship. Changmin had majorly fretted over it at first, but everything seemed to remain the same between them so he had stopped worrying.

 

Until now.

 

This is it. Yunho is getting _married. A_ nd soon after that, he will have children, two dogs, and maybe even a hamster. Acknowledging this fact makes Changmin feel a bit numb. Of course he wishes his hyung the best. If anyone deserves a nice family and every other happiness in this world, it's Yunho, who is just too good and too kind a person for it.  


 

He doesn't understand why, but lately he's been feeling this odd sensation akin to an ache in his chest whenever he thinks of Yunho leaving. He wants to be selfish though. He wants to call Yunho randomly at unreasonable hours of the night to have barbeque at Changmin's favorite restaurants. To share beers over the coffee table and complain about their work together. To make Yunho watch and re-watch the Star Wars trilogy every time he makes him suffer through another new drama. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips over the memories.

 

He looks down and realizes he's been standing there, lost in thought with just his pants on and one arm through his shirt for god knows how long now. He looks over at the digital clock by his bedside and winces.

 

Shit. Now he's really late. What kind of best man shows up late to his own best friend's wedding? He's supposed to go there and give Yunho a pep talk, and slap or two, just in case he chickens out, which he doubts Yunho will. His hyung is probably wearing the world's fattest grin right at this moment, imagining what it will feel like when he sees his beautiful wife-to-be walk down that isle. He'll probably be pissed at Changmin for not making it out of work sooner. Regardless, Changmin will stand by his side, trying to wear a smile that's just as big as Yunho's, if that's even possible.

 

He walks out of the room while simultaneously trying to fasten the buttons on the cuffs of his top when he spots the glowing screen of his phone on the countertop, which he had left silent for work earlier. He picks it up without bothering to check who's calling. He's assuming it's Yunho on the other line, ready to give him an ear full, so he tries to cut him off as soon as he answers.

 

“Look, I know I'm late and I'm really, really sorry, but I couldn't get out earlier. I swear I'll be there in like fifteen minutes so-”

 

“Changmin.”

 

“Kyu? What-”

 

“Do you know where Yunho hyung is?”

 

“What do you mean? He's at the weddi-”

 

“No, he's not. He left.”

 

_Wait, what?_

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah. There was all this screaming coming from Julie's room and then he just stormed out of there.”

 

“How's she holding up?”

 

“Not good. First she was smashing vases left and right. Now she's just a crying mess. Her bridesmaids are trying to calm her down but... damn, this is so fucked up”

 

“I'm guessing you've tried calling him.”

 

“Yeah, all of us have. No luck. He's probably turned it off.”

 

He can't believe what he's hearing. Yunho would  _never_ do something like this. It didn't make any sense. Changmin goes to grab his coat while he listens. He has to look for Yunho. Make him tell him what was wrong. Yunho couldn't have done this without good reason.

 

“Did you know anything about this?” Kyuhyun asks suspiciously.

 

“What? No! I'm just as surprised you are. Besides... he hasn't even talked to me lately.” And it hurt.

 

“Really? Now _that's_ weird.”

 

His doorbell rings loudly.

 

Changmin freezes for a moment, staring at the door.

 

“Hold on...”

 

“Who's there?” Kyuhyun must've heard the ringing through the phone.

 

Changmin slowly walks over to the door, hesitating only briefly before opening it.

 

There stands a devilishly handsome, tuxedo-wearing Yunho, looking every bit of nervous from what Changmin could tell with the eye flittering and the constant clenching and unclenching of the fists.

 

“I-I have to go.”

 

“Wait! Is Yunho there?! Changm-” he cuts the phone and sets it aside as Yunho steps into his apartment without a word, locking the door behind him. Changmin takes a few steps back to give him some space, hoping he calms down and explains himself, but he just stands there silently, staring at the counter from the kitchen region.

 

“Yunho.” He breaks the silence first. “Why are you here?”

 

Yunho, at this moment, reminds Changmin of a wild, skittish animal. He just looks so _tense_ , and Changmin wants to comfort him but he needs answers first. He'd have to back him into a corner and get him to talk.

 

Yunho glances at a him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, before quickly looking away. And Changmin knows _exactly_ what that look means.

 

He's feeling guilty, and a bit scared. Of _course_ he is. Yunho can't leave his future wife on their wedding night and _not_ be filled with remorse. He's probably regretting it so much already. Maybe Changmin can convince him to go back, apologize, and resume with the happy matrimonial festivities, but the last part wasn't looking so doable at the moment. Then Yunho starts pacing back and forth in the small space he had silently claimed as his, which just seems to irk Changmin. He sighs, taking a step forward.

 

“Hyung,” he tries again. “What are you doing here and not at your wedding?”

 

No response.

 

“Look. Your family must be worried sick. Why don't we go back and just explain that there's been a misunderstanding? I'm sure Julia will understand and you two can-”

 

“No.” Yunho stops and looks up right at Changmin, his once doubt-filled eyes now shining with fierce determination. Changmin is a bit caught off guard by the sudden change.

 

“I won't go back to her.” He takes a step forward, a steel tone to his voice.

 

Feeling strangely intimidated, Changmin takes a step back.

 

Okay. So the back-Yunho-into-a-corner plan fell out before it was even commenced. It actually seems to have had the opposite effect, with the roles now reversed, but Changmin is unperturbed and continues his efforts in getting Yunho to spill.

 

“What do you mean? You two have been raving about today for months now. I mean, you love each other, right? How can you just walk out on her like that? What happened? Did she say something?”

 

Yunho chuckles darkly at that, now leaning comfortably with his side on the counter, picking up an empty wine glass and giving it all his attention.

 

“Oh, she said quite a few things. But nothing I haven't heard before.”

 

This is Changmin's first time hearing any of this. He had thought Yunho and Julia were the perfect couple. That fights or ill words were a rare to none thing between them. That isn't the case apparently.

 

Changmin is a bit reluctant to ask any further because Yunho is starting to scare him a bit with his demeanor. He isn't used to seeing him like this. And here he had taken pride into thinking he knew Yunho so well.

 

They still have secrets between them.

 

Changmin gulps and resolves himself.

 

“What... did she say?”

 

Yunho looks at him casually, as though pondering whether or not he should tell Changmin. The air around them is so thick, it makes it harder for Changmin to breathe.

 

“Oh, the same old. That I need her. That marrying her is the only way I can even come close to living a normal, peaceful life. That without her, I would be alone, forever.”

 

What on earth is he talking about?

 

“That I can never have what I truly want.” The last part is mumbled, but Changmin is still able to hear it.

 

Yunho is staring at the glass in his hands with such a broken expression. He has seen his hyung upset many times before, but never like this. He would wear this frown that ended up looking like a pout because his plump bottom lip and his eyes would be the slightest bit watery, and when the situation was more serious, only his eyes would give away his sadness.

 

That seems to be the case today, but Changmin has never seen him look this hopeless before.

 

He looks so _lonely_. But he has Changmin, doesn't he?

 

“What can you never have?” He asks softly.

 

Yunho freezes. And the suffocating stillness of the air grows worse.

 

“Yunho,” Changmin tries again, “What do you want?”

 

Yunho sets the wine glass down and looks up. He stares at Changmin with a completely unreadable expression this time. The intensity of it makes Changmin squirm in his place. Yunho then takes a step forward. Changmin takes one back.

 

“What do I _want_?” Yunho asks, taking another step forward, causing Changmin again, to back up a bit. Yunho comes closer and closer, and Changmin feels a mysterious pressure on him. It makes him panic.

 

_What is he doing?_

 

When his back hits the wall, Changmin's heart starts thudding wildly. Words stuck in his throat, he fixes his wide eyes on the man that turned him into a mess with just a look. Changmin's mind has no idea what the _hell_ is going on, but his heart seems to be reacting much more frantically in response to the older man's advances. Why is he freaking out? It's just Yunho. He's gotten much closer plenty of times before. But this is different. Something about the situation and the aura Yunho is emitting is putting him off. Before he knows it, Yunho invades his personal space in all senses, leaving barely two inches between them. His dark eyes are locked on Changmin's, who could feel chills running down his spine from the intensity. Yunho's eyes drop from his and...

 

“You _.”_

 

His lips press firmly into Changmin's, and they both go still. A few seconds pass, but Changmin's brain still isn't able to process anything.

 

Yunho wastes no time in taking things further by moving his lips against the ones he's caught himself staring at countless times in the past, sucking and nipping as he pleases. A flick of his tongue to the bottom lip causes the younger man to gasp, giving Yunho the entry he wants.

 

Changmin holds onto the fabric of Yunho's shirt under his suit's coat to steady himself as a rush of sensations overwhelms him. His head spins as he feels Yunho's tongue move within his mouth. When the gears in his head finally start turning, Changmin begins thinking

 

_What am I doing?_

 

_Why am I not pushing him away?_

 

_This is wrong._

 

…

 

_Isn't it?_

 

But it feels so  _good._

 

The way Yunho is kissing him right now is so urgent and desperate, yet so gentle. His hands are cradling Changmin's head, one palm on his jaw, the other sunk into his hair, as he pours his feelings into this one action. He is radiating so much heat, that before this, Changmin believes he has always lived in the cold. Yunho has always been the source of warmth in Changmin's life. Him, with his bright smiles and heart warming laughter.

 

Changmin pulls away, panting heavily, trying to catch his breath. He watches as Yunho comes to and schools is expression. But again, his eyes give it away. Changmin sees the same fear he had seen earlier. But now he understands what it was for.

 

He has so many questions.

 

_Why did you date her?_

 

_Why would you marry her?_

 

_Why didn't you talk to me?_

 

But he doesn't care for the answers right now. He may not know exactly what happened, but Changmin  _understands._

 

Yunho is scared of rejection. Terrified of it.

 

_How long have you felt this way?_

 

But there is no need for it. Because Changmin would never push him away. He can't.

 

_When did I fall in love with you?_

 

It doesn't matter that Yunho is a man. It doesn't matter that he is his best friend.

 

All that matters is this precious bond they share. He wants to reassure his hyung that he isn't alone. That Changmin will stay. That Changmin is his.

 

“ _Yunho.”_ Changmin pleads with his eyes for Yunho to understand. Everything he's thought. Everything he's come to realize. Everything he feels. He leans in, closing his eyes, and doesn't have to wait long before Yunho's lips are back on his. He feels arms wrap around his waist, and puts his own arms around Yunho's neck. 

 

This kiss has much more fervor than the first now that both parties are participating. Changmin could feel his body temperature rise quickly, leaving him unbearably hot. He feels lightheaded as his breath is taken away all over again.

 

Yunho pulls away and begins a trail of scorching kisses from his jaw to his collarbone, where he then sucks on a sensitive spot, making Changmin release a soft moan. He drags his lips back up and licks along his earlobe. Changmin trembles under Yunho's touch.

 

“Hyung.” He gasps softly, and brings their lips back together.

 

Then the bell rings.

 

Yunho pulls back in shock, but only by an inch. There is someone, or a few someones, banging on the door and shouting. But other than the initial response, the couple pays no further attention to it. They are too engrossed with each other to care.

 

“Min.” Yunho's eyes hold a silent question.

 

“Yes.” Changmin whispers breathlessly. There was no need for words of love, of encouragement. That could wait.

 

Picked up off his feet, he wraps his legs around Yunho's waist as he is taken away. In the back of his mind, he identifies the owners of the annoying voices coming from behind the front door.

 

“Changmin? Are you there?” That's Kyuhyun.

 

“Yah! Changmin, open up!” And that's Heechul.

 

“Is Yunho there?” Donghae.

 

“Changmin!” Heechul again.

 

But the voices get farther and farther away.

 

Until they stop.

 

Yunho kicks the bedroom door close behind them, and shuts the world out.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Cliches and Cheesiness Cause Cringing... Comment anyway :)


End file.
